This virgin girl is on the phone and asks her boyfriend to come over and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the tills, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.

10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

"I was going to dinner at my fiancée's parents place, the main purpose of the visit was to finally get their approval on me marrying their daughter. Now my fiancée's mother has aged very well. VERY well. Frankly she's incredibly hot. The concerning thing was that during the meal she kept making eyes at me and suggestive smiles. The dinner went well and afterwards my fiancée and her father went to do the washing up. I was left with the mother who after insuring the others were out of earshot said to me:

"I know that you are marrying my daughter and I know this is wrong, but seeing that you are not married yet and I am not your mother and law I would like if you would have sex with me. Just one last favour before you marry my daughter. The other two will be busy for at least half an hour, if you agree meet me upstairs, you can have some time to think it over."

"She then left me. I sat and thought for about a minute before I got up and left the house.

"Outside my fiancée rushed up and hugged me as her dad stood by smiling and clapping. My fiancée's mother joined her husband as he came over and shook my hand telling me that he was extremely proud of me and that such a faithful young man was marrying his daughter and gave me his full blessing."

----

The moral of the story?

"Always keep your condoms in your car."

A young man has always dreamed of owning a Harley Davidson. One day he has finally saved up enough money so he goes down to the dealer.

After picking out the perfect bike the dealer warns him that if he leaves his Harley in the rain the chrome has a tendency to rust.

He tells the young man an old biker's trick is to keep a jar of Vaseline handy and smear it on the chrome if the bike must be left out in the rain.

A few months later the young man meets a woman and falls in love. She asks him to come home and meet her parents over dinner. He readily agrees and the date is set. At the appointed time he picks her up on his Harley and they ride to her parents house. Before they go in she tells him that they have a family tradition that whoever speaks first after dinner must do the dishes.

After a delicious dinner everyone sits in silence waiting for the first person to break and get stuck doing the dishes. After a long fifteen minutes the young man decides to speed things up so he reaches over and kisses the woman in front of her family. And no one says a word...!

Next he decides to take a more direct approach so he throws her on the table and has sex with her in front of everyone. And still no one says a word...!!! Now he is getting desperate, so he grabs her mother and throws her on the table. They have even wilder sex. But no one says a word...!!!!

By now he is getting very worried and is wondering what to do next when he hears thunder in the distance.

His first thought is to protect the chrome on his Harley, so he reaches in his pocket and pulls out the Vaseline. And the father says, "Okay dammit, I'll do the dishes."